UPDATE!

Howdy Everyone!

As anyone who has been keeping up with this blog will have noted, I have not posted in FOREVER. This, in part, is due to my pursuit of other aspects of my life including, but not limited to, a Bachelor’s degree, my place in a Bluegrass band, and my newest Work In Progress–a mystery I hope to have nearly publishable by next summer.

While I greatly enjoyed building this blog, I am no longer able to update it on a regular basis. As of this post, I am officially ceasing to post.

However, I will be leaving the materials already on this blog posted for the perusal of anyone who happens to drop by!

Courtney

Mustard Seeds…and College…a recurring theme…

And now, for my biannual mid-semester(ish) blues induced post. Drumroll, please. This semester, as with every semester I’ve had so far, I have been confronted with a struggle between fitting in and being annointed–set aside, so to speak; between keeping to myself and remaining “untouched” by the troubles all around me, or being “the light of the world”. Although it does not seem like a big deal, Christians are the salt and light everywhere, and no matter what, right? it remains a dilemma I face every semester with the same regularity as a holiday, or a dentist appointment. Why? Because, I am a part of the body of Christ. If I do nothing, then who will do anything? In the same vein, I am a part of the body of Christ…I need to have my mind set on the things of Christ, I need to walk in His love. Okay, so where is the trouble? Why can’t I accomplish both things at once? Why am I troubling you all with this biannual post?

WHEN I TRY TO BE INVOLVED AND SHOW CHRIST’S LOVE THROUGH MY INVOLVEMENT, I GET CAUGHT UP IN EVERYTHING THAT IS GOING ON AROUND ME.

There. I said it. On a semsterly basis, I walk this seesaw of extremes between what I should be, and what I am. What I’m trying to be, and what I end up being. I hate to admit it. I’m a perfectionist…I try so hard to be perfect.

But, enough with the self-pity, right? I started this blog for a distinct purpose, did I not? (and if you are wondering, the answer is yes. See the About Me page). I do know the solution to this dilemma. I admit, putting it into practice is a struggle at times, but as dad always says, “if its easy, it isn’t worth doing…”

More dramatic drumroll please…

^{Romans 7:13} Has then what is good become death to me? Certainly not! But sin, that it might appear sin, was producing death in me through what is good, so that sin through the commandment might become exceedingly sinful. ¹⁴ For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. ¹⁵ For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. ¹⁶ If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. ¹⁷ But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. ¹⁸ For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. ¹⁹ For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. ²⁰ Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. ²¹ I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. ²² For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. ²³ But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. ²⁴ O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? ²⁵ I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with the mind I myself serve the law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.

Paul’s words here pretty much sum up my situation. Okay, they are a little on the dramatic side for my situation…and, I’m not saying that it is a sin that I get caught up in the world of college majors and such. I just don’t want to get caught up to the point where I lose focus on the Lord, neither do I want to be reserved to the point where I am not allowing God to bless others through me. Thus…sigh…my semesters are spent in prayer and tightrope walking.

Yassus. Courtney

A thought…

“For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Matt 12:37)

I’m dismayed. I just received an email that should have been encouraging. The message: Getting America Back. Sounds good to me. I opened the message and began to read, my dismay growing with each line. There are usually two ways to do things, I’ve found: God’s way, or the world’s way. This article, though meant as encouragement to Christians, prescribed a very worldly way of “getting America back.”

The message implied that it couldn’t hurt anything to let us Christians pray in schools and at football games. It wouldn’t be earth shattering or foundation shaking. So, why not appease us?

This, in my mind, borders on trickery and manipulation. The world convinces others to let them participate with this method of argument! I’m not gonna hurt anything, they say, so why not let me do what I want?

In truth, isn’t every prayer to our ALMIGHTY LORD powerful? Didn’t God, after hearing Paul’s prayers in prison, shake the earth,  shake–break–the foundation, and break down the prison walls? Don’t our prayers, our beliefs, mean MORE than simple actions, simple rituals by which we ease our  consciouses? To speak of them as otherwise, even in the spirit of gaining America once more, is false!

Just some thoughts…

Courtney

Waiting: Contentedness vs. Complacency

Of late, a topic my sisters and I have discussed repeatedly has cropped up once more. As  teenagers, it is common in today’s society to set our sights on the future–in fact it seems to many that life only begins in that “someday” when this or that goal can be accomplished–disregarding our present circumstances. This lack of contentment, though an accepted facet of society, is devastating to our culture, our society, and our future: If you are not content today, you will not be content when the thing you are longing for occurs, nor will you ever be content. The fact is, contentment must be learned and practiced–just like patience, or like mathematics and reading for that matter.

The products of this lack of content are many, and often attributed to other things. Grandfathers abandoning their families for younger women, mothers abandoning their children, and even that commonplace ailment–depression–stem from a lack of contentment. Now, I am aware that there are other causes to these problems as well, however, the widespread phenomena of discontentment does contribute significantly to many societal and familial ills.

The surface level reasons for this discontentment–ambition, excitement about the future–are just that: surface level. They do not in any way help us to understand WHY this practice of discontentment is encouraged. However, an insight I had this morning has helped me to understand to a small degree: there are two radically different viewpoints on contentedness today. One is a secular viewpoint, the other is the viewpoint of a follower of Christ. I am going to quickly outline both viewpoints, and get to my conclusion.

Secular viewpoint:

Succinctly, the secular viewpoint on contentment is summed up quite nicely by the term “stick in the mud.” Our society encourages ambition, and makes a deity of success above all else. Thus, words like “satisfied”, “content”, and “waiting”, are foreign to their thought process. This is because it is paramount–in their minds–to go out and do, to accomplish, to better oneself and one’s station in life. Sayings like “the grass is greener,” though cliched, are adequate and accurate descriptions of many of their lives. This “Seize the Day” type of thinking causes them to view contented persons as sticks in the mud, those who are unwilling to release what they have to find something better, those who just don’t care about their futures or their lives. To many of these people, to be content is to admit defeat.

Christ-like viewpoint:

In direct contrast to this viewpoint is the one held by followers of Christ. As Christians, we have no need to “Seize the Day,” the creator of day dwells within us! We have no need to search for “greener pastures,” because the Lord is our Shepherd! Our contentment does not stem from a complacent, uncaring spirit. Rather, it stems from a trusting one: a spirit that is waiting on the Lord in the very fullness of that term. One who trusts the Lord with his life, with his future. How is this type of trust being content? If you trust the Lord to do what is best for you, you will know without doubt that whatever situation you are in, wherever you live, whatever amount of success you experience, is exactly where God wants you to be at that moment in time. This does not mean that you cling to the situation you are in, it means you are willing to go where the Lord leads. As Paul said, “I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound…” This is true contentment–thriving where the Lord puts you! Whether it be prison, or a mansion.

Conclusion:

Contentment is not shunning opportunity– it is putting oneself fully into the hands of the One who owns the future.

Contentment is not an uncaring spirit–it is one that cares very much, and trusts.

To be content doesn’t mean that you are giving up all hopes and dreams–it means that you are placing them in the hands of your Father!

Courtney

Waiting through the winter blues…

Although, at thirty-four minutes till the new year, this is a time of great festivity, I find myself in a melancholy mood. So, I have attempted to remedy my mood with words from one of my favorite authors: George MacDonald. He was an amazing Scottish preacher, and then writer, in the 1800s…and I often find his words encouraging. Here is a quote from one of his Unspoken Sermons–THE CAUSE OF SPIRITUAL STUPIDITY–

With every haunting trouble then, great or small, the loss of thousands or the lack of a shilling, go to God, and appeal to him, the God of your life, to deliver you, his child, from that which is unlike him, therefore does not belong to you, but is antagonistic to your nature.
If your trouble is such that you cannot appeal to him, the more need you should appeal to him…Let such as would do what they must yet cannot, be what they must yet cannot, remember, with hope and courage, that he who knows all about our being, once _spake a parable
to the end that they ought always to pray, and not to faint_.

Mustard Seeds… faith for the new year!

Starting a new year is easy, and hard. Ever present in our minds is the desire to change, to better ourselves, to put into practice the lessons we learned during the previous year. Most times, we fail. This is not because we are setting too high of a standard, but because we are relying on our own understanding. God does not make wannabe’s. His children can accomplish great feats, they should be known by the quality of their work, the righteousness of their actions, their mercy, their love, their purity, their honesty. We as His children should excel–because our actions represent our Father.

No, our standards are not too high–rather, our methods of attaining those standards are colored by a mode of thought that is foreign to the Kingdom of God. In America, we believe that a man (or woman) must prove himself by his ability to accomplish things alone. While individuality is not worthless (if all parts of the body were a toe…etc), Christians are members of the body of Christ. As such, Jesus is part of each of us–He is in everything we do and say, at least He should be. He is an integral part of us, He is included in our individuality.

When Paul states “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” he is not merely being pious, or allegorical, or alluding to a strictly spiritual accomplishment. He is stating that he can do ALL things through Christ. It takes faith to believe that this is not a limited statement. All means all whether it is written in Ancient Greek or modern English. I, Paul, You can do ALL things through Christ.

That is not to say that ALL things are worth doing, but if you are operating in Christ, then everything you do will be worth doing, because it will be guided by him.

Yassus

Courtney

Thanks-Giving

Are you ready to give thanks? I am. I don’t do it enough, honestly. I am thankful for my family–that we are all still together and well, that my parents are alive, that I was homeschooled and that my siblings can be, for the chance to perform with my sisters, for my Martin Guitar, for the chance to write my books, for many things!

Mustard Seeds.. Defending my “Rats”

This may hearken back to an earlier post I wrote called “Self Defense” or some such title. I hadn’t then thought this deeply upon the subject, but events of the current semester have caused the issue to resurface. Let me recap: Often, in the face of an attack upon ourselves, we as humans consider it right and good to defend our selves, our good name, our integrity. I asserted in the earlier post that perhaps this is not really an issue of self-defense as much as it is one of faith.

Here, I will be connecting the same principal to another type of situation. Now, don’t get me wrong, I do not have this issue neatly resolved in the resesses of my gray matter, I’m just mulling it over, and presenting it to you to do the same.

Have you ever been in a situation where God was mocked? A situation hostile to the Lord? I have.  This semester in fact. My question is this–for all I can really do is pose a queston–Is this a situation similar to the one I outlined above? Are we “fighting for our RATS” rather than WAITING on the Lord and allowing HIM to guide us?

Let me give this question some context: Earlier this month, in regard to the battle over gay-marriage in California, a group of alternately oriented individuals attacked a church. They were “fighting for their rats” (yes, I do quote the Gettysburg movie here). However, Christians are doing the same thing, if not so violently. When you look around and see, in the name of evangelism, Christians requesting that others not take the Lord’s name in vain, Christians sending forwards suggesting that we, as the majority religion in the nation, should cause the others to “sit down and shut up”

WHAT ARE WE DOING? Are we showing the world CHrist’s love for them? WE  SHOULD BE…BUT WE ARE NOT. In those types of situations all we are doing is FIGHTING FOR OUR RATS (RIGHTS)! Now, I don’t enjoy hearing my Savior’s name profaned, my spirit mourns when athiests and other “alternate” lifestyles insist on pressing their choices upon us all. But, really, what would Jesus do? He ATE among the sinners and the publicans! He didn’t go around DENOUNCING THEM, the only people he rebuked were the hypocrital Pharisees and their peers. He HEALED AND FORGAVE the sinners.

Anyway… just some thoughts.

Eraynay pros humeis (Peace to you–as near as I can get it from Greek to English phonetically)

Courtney

To Walk the Line

We, as the sons of God, are exhorted to “Trust in the Lord with all [our] hearts” and to “Lean not on [our] own understanding” (Pro 3:5-6). At the same time, we dwell in the land of instant decisions. We are inundated with facts on a daily basis: we have schedules to make and goals to meet. It seems that, with good intentions at heart, we classify the busyness of our lives as something below God’s counsel. Our daily tasks are, after all, insignificant in the light of the happenings of the Kingdom of Heaven. Aren’t they?

As I find myself drawn into the busyness of another semester at college, I am beginning to see the task I face; I MUST be setting aside each day, o at least nearly each day, to simply wait for the Lord. Whether or not He speaks any given time is something I cannot control, however, being available to listen to HIM is essential.  How easy it is to make split-second decisions on my own, assuming that they are insignificant to the bigger plan of my life. I do not know how relevant these small decisions actually are, only that when I “lean upon my own understanding” in the small things, I become less likely to seek the Lord in anything at all.

The peril here would be to assume that we are to postpone decision making to the point of silliness: that is not my point. There truly are such things as split-second decisions that must, of necessity, be made without much agonizing over the do or don’t of the matter. This is where my aforementioned task comes into play. If I have been setting aside time to listen, as well continuing to study and pray, I will be in the habit of walking in HIS will. In fact, if I have been spending this essential fellowship time, I will have been training my spirit to wait on HIS. Then, the making of these decisions may be instantaneous, but it will be in a spirit of leaning on HIS understanding.

-Courtney

A distance so engulfing

Am I so far removed,

That interest now evades me,

That I cannot be moved?

A plight so evelasting,

The sorrow in my eyes,

I think it may be asking

Too much to hear my cries.

But there-I see- a shadow!

A cross upon the wall!

And now, I hear rejoicing–

He rose once more, for all.

Hope

Well, I am back on the blog after–well, I haven’t quite kept track how long I’ve been away–. Truth is, I even sat down to blog once or twice in the time between this blog and the last…but I never did manage to post anything. The reasons are many and varying.

Today, I’d like to write a little bit about hope. It’s a word that is scoffed by some, and cherished by others. There is great ambiguity as to just what role has to play in a believer’s life. Some would class hope with such detrimental traits as wishful-thinking, daydreaming, or vain ambition. I have, however, been discovering personally, just how relevant hope is.

Before I even attempt to make my point, I would like to begin by saying: there are many ways that hope can be defined, however, only ONE pertains to this post. When referring to HOPE, for the purposes of this post, I am referring to the intrinsic trust and expectancy believers may confidently place in their Father. I.E. An individual who HOPES in the Lord for protection and care does not wish that HE will provide protectection and care, he KNOWS it, however, he knows that without the Lord, his protection and care would be impossible…and thus the Lord IS his HOPE.

That brings me to my first point. The psalmist states “For You are my hope, O Lord God; You are my trust from my youth…” (Psa 71:5) This indicates that hope–far from being an abstract thing–is in fact, a being: Our Lord. If our HOPE is not just IN the Lord but IS the Lord then perhaps our commonly held perceptions of hope must be altered.

Earlier this year, I myself was placing my hope IN the Lord for certain THINGS. I have had to repent (turn from) this way of thinking. In my situation, hoping in the Lord FOR something was placing more value upon that think than on My Lord. It was indeed quite like wishful thinking… “Well, Lord, I KNOW you can bring this about…so I’ll just pray and hope that you do…” More and more during my reading times I was confronted with verses about the Lord being HOPE, which in turn made me re-evaluate my thinking.

Certainly, as believers, we have the right to depend on the Lord, to trust in His provision instead of taking up our own. I would never say otherwise…it is the essence of Son-hood to depend upon the Father. Rather, I am saying that there is a definite distinction between placing hope IN the Lord and the Lord being one’s hope. True, the Lord does speak His promises to us, and we as believers can hope–or wait expectantly– for those promises to be fulfilled. As long as we remember while we hope how our hope was made possible; Without our Lord, nothing that is would be. Hope, of itself, cannot exist without the Lord. We cannot exist without the Lord.

I’ll finish with an illustration:

A fisherman sets out to sea (he’s a deep sea fisherman) and fails to check his weather charts. When he is too far from land to get to its safety in any reasonable amount of time, he notices that an extremely large and ferocious hurricane is headed straight toward him. His only HOPE: the radio with which he can call the coast guard for assitance.

Hope, as used in this illustration is the means to survival, the strong tower, that which can be depended on.

The more I think on this, the more I am assured: The Lord can be my only hope.

Courtney